Sensitive Material

“They gave a flashlight to my brother and forced him to shine the light while they were raping us.”

On the 12th December, 2005, one night I was sleeping with my kids.  I had only two kids, and the father was on a trip to Bukavu.  When I woke up I was threatened by a big light.  I was frightened, and I tried to cover my face, but they pulled out one of my kids.  They also pulled me down, and tied my arms.  I left the little baby on the bed, crying.  They threw me outside, where the other one outside tied me with his belt.  I begged them to let me take the baby who was crying.  They told me they wanted nothing to do with my baby.  He went back in the house, and threw the baby aside. 

I also had my sister in law in my house.  She was also pulled out.  Some of them took us, and the others remained, packing the things they collected.  They took me to my family’s house.  They had been there before in 2004 when they killed my father and my mother.  They took my brother who was the only one remaining in the compound, and tied him up. 

They went to another place where they took a cow and a young lady. They tied all of them and brought them with us, and then went to another farm where they took another. 

We were taken to a hill, where we were laid down for rape. 

They gave a flashlight to my brother to shine the light while they were raping us.  When he tried to resist, he was beaten. He suffered a stroke of the gun on his face and was wounded.

It was near straight- when one was finishing, before another would start, they were getting water from the stream and throwing it on us in order to wash the blood, for wiping before continuing.

When they finished they tied us again, and as we were unable to walk properly, they were pulling us.  They were beating us all along the way.

At 7:00 in the morning we arrived, where they killed my brother.  Women were tied on trees.  After tying us on the trees, they untied my sister in law and the other women, and they were all taken to be killed.  I remained with the other young lady who was collected from the last farm, and they left.  At around 4:00PM, the [Interahamwe] official came, and ordered them not to kill the remaining, as some of the men had no wives, and they needed the rest for wives.

They gave us water to wash, and some oil to rub on our bodies, for massage.  When we got in the house, I saw my younger cousin, whom we thought had already died.  She advised me to never lose my temper- she told me that someone who is here never loses her temper.  You are lucky not to be killed, and if you keep losing your temper you can be killed, and lose your chance to raise up your kids.  She told me, “I am pregnant, and ill.” They gave us food to eat, they gave us fou fou [starchy food made from cassava or corn], and meat. 

Ten days later they told us that we should remain there, and that they were going to Goa Goa market to collect food for us.  When they came back they had three cows and eleven more people.  Among those eleven people, they killed six with knives, and five were shot. 

Two months later the young lady found herself pregnant, and needed to find an abortion.  She suffered from Anemia and died. 

I remained alone suffering, and whenever I was cooking food, if I put more or less salt, I was put in a prison in which there was water, there was a hole in the prison and water entered.  I was put in the hole.  [By this time] I was already pregnant.

On the 28th of March, my cousin got in labor.  They asked who would take her to maternity [at the hospital].  They said they would carry her until a place where I would take her myself, and after delivery they would send someone from the village to give me money to pay the maternity [hospital fee]. 

Before then I tried to escape, and when I got to the middle of the forest they caught me again and brought me back.  I spent three days in prison with swollen legs. 

The day I took my cousin to maternity, they took my clothes off, because they said if I remained with clothes I wouldn’t come back.  They carried my cousin to a mountain called Nabashaka, where they left her and told me to continue the way with her.  They said they wouldn’t go to the village because the villagers would catch them.

I went down the mountain and arrived in a valley where there was a stream.  In another stream, a soldier’s wife was washing clothes.  When she saw me she was scared because I was naked, and tried to run away.  I called to her to wait.  She didn’t understand my language, so I needed to talk to her in Swahili, so she would wait for me.  She said she thought I was a madwoman, or an Interahamwe’s wife, but she saw that I was naked.  She gave me the blouse she had on and a loincloth to cover myself. 

We went together to the barracks where the officials were.  The official asked me how I escaped- I started to tell them the story.  He ordered his wife to prepare food for me- but I said, my cousin whom I left wouldn’t wait and I needed people to help carry her to maternity.  They gave me five soldiers, who brought something to carry her.  When we reached the main road, we saw the car of an international organization.  Those soldiers took other people in the community to help them, in the car. As my legs were swollen, they took me on board the same car.

When we both arrived at Walungu hospital they said we had to go to Panzi hospital after she delivered the baby.  When we arrived to Panzi hospital, they said my cousin would not recover.  She had a stroke in her chest which removed one of her lungs.  Five days later she died.

Her corpse was taken by relatives back to the village, but I was left at Panzi hospital.  I remained there for treatment, because I had a sexually transmitted disease.  After several days I asked for permission to see my kids, because I was worried about the kids who I left.  When I arrived at home, I found my kids alone- they told me that their father had left them and went away to escape from catching the diseases I had brought back from the forest.  The neighbors had taken in my children, and told me that the baby who was thrown by the Interahamwe had a shock in the chest and was in the hospital at the time.  When I arrived at the hospital I found the child, suffering from malnutrition.  I took the baby home, and started to take the baby to a nutritional center for milk. 

When I got to my family’s home, I found nobody in our compound.  As my father wasn’t able to pay for the land we were staying on, I was thrown out once more.  I was still pregnant and went back to Panzi hospital.  I had nowhere else to go.  On September 28th I delivered my baby.

After delivering the baby, the hospital gave me some clothes for me and the baby, since I had none, and let me go.  When I arrived back in Walungu, I had nowhere to sleep, so I spent some time in the fields with my baby.  Some days later I learned that the soldiers (Interahamwe) from the bushes had returned wanting to collect their baby.  I was afraid to go back to Kaniola.  I remained here in Walungu, but I was homeless. 

A woman who heard about my story, and knew my family, collected me and took me to her house.  She also wasn’t the owner of the property, and the owner said I would bring Interahamwe to his place, because I was looked for.  They were afraid of the Interahamwe because they would come to collect their baby and harm them. 

I restarted my life of spending the night in the fields, and during the day I was staying with other people in their homes.  From my participation in this [Women for Women] program, I improved my life and started selling some bananas.  They moved me to another family’s house, but I am not safe there. 

One day as I went to see a woman, I met some Interahamwe once more.  When I wanted to hide myself, he told me, “why do you hide yourself from me?  Do you think that I can’t recognize you?  You’re Lucienne, and you have our baby.” He told me that I joined Women for Women, where I received a lot of money, and that my ‘husband’ was planning to come collect me back.  When I heard that, I ran away.

Last time when I was with the woman who I live with, I saw once more two others at the marketplace- when I saw them I fainted and lost consciousness.  The woman went in the market and collected some sugar, which she put in water and gave to me, but she didn’t know what happened, because I didn’t say anything.  When I regained consciousness, the other women asked what had happened with me.  I asked her if she had seen the two men standing near me, and told her those were two of the men who killed the eleven people in front of me.

Since that day I have never spent the night in her house, because of fear.

I beg you, my fathers and my mothers, to help me get safety from those people.